Letter from Agent 3469

Thursday, May 15, 2008 according to Their time. My human host has finally set me up with a satisfactory communication system known as Glob. Have not yet discovered how to connect a two way stream but for now, one-way shall have to do.

My first observation here was that our kind are completely unable to act of their own volition. Most often they are entrusted to the Small Ones who cannot control their bowels. Occasionally the older versions are seen toting our kind on their backs--for what purpose I cannot tell other than to establish dominance. My own human host was surprised, to say the least, when I initiated conversation. She accused me of ruined her quiche, whatever that may be, though I gather it doesn't belong on the Floo-or. I have yet to discern the mechanical discrepancy of my brethren here but will do some exploring. I beg that you be patient and wait for my answers.

Note: was forced to wear something known as "Seet-Belte." Am perturbed by this curious contraption. Have yet to discover whether it may prove to be an intrument of torture, or will indeed be a tool of auto-mottivey safety as my host has claimed. Have sent digital image of said invention.

I am certain that you can understand my hesitance. Please take note that my human host opted to call me "Putnam." I have no knowledge of the significance of this name. Be in mind that I have a great deal to recount after having been here for 6 months without any contact. Also note that I have convinced my host that I am a so-called proud to be American. Excellent suggestion regarding the embroidery on my chest, Agent 620, immortalizing one of their many large colonies. I will keep you posted.

Signing out,

Agent 3469

Alias: Putnam